You hold it together for everyone. Except yourself.
You’re reading this because there’s something you cannot stop. It might be a substance, like drugs or alcohol. It might be a behaviour like gambling or sex.
Sometimes, it might not feel like a problem. An extra drink or line can keep the party going. Working too hard, having too much sex, can feel like you’re living life to the full.
And you can probably keep it together, for other people. You can hold off when you’re at work. You can keep your boss happy and keep paying your bills. Or maybe it’s your kids or loved ones you can hold on for. You can be present and show up. They might not suspect a thing.
You can say no for other people. But you cannot say no for yourself.
It’s when you clock off, or say goodbye, that the feelings start. They bubble up and soon it feels impossible to resist. The urges keep coming. There is nothing worse than being by yourself. You perhaps don’t even know who you are.
But in sessions, you won’t be. And together, we will breathe.
What addiction therapy might look like
I cannot take away your cravings, but I can listen.
Together, we will build a space where it feels safer to feel your feelings. Every cell in your body may want you to run away, so we won’t rush. We will take things at your pace. We’ll explore what happens around your addiction, the feelings of release and the tensions beforehand. And we’ll explore your life outside of addiction — who and what do you love. You are more than an addict, after all. You’re a person.
And so, I won’t insist on abstinence or sobriety. You don’t need someone else in your life that you have to be good for; someone else you can let down. I am certain you don’t need another source of shame in your life.
What I do ask is for honesty. I want you to experience feeling seen. I want you to be honest with me and see for yourself, and feel in your body, that I am not going away. You can be who you are. You do not need to sand down your edges. You do not scare me. You are not the monster of your imagination.
I don’t know who you are. But I would like to find out.
Frequently asked questions about therapy for addiction
What addictions do you work with?
I work with substance addictions, like drugs and alcohol. And I work with behavioural addictions like gambling, porn, and relationship, sex and love addictions. Chemsex sits across the two, and I work with that as well. Work addiction comes up a lot too. Whatever it is that you’re struggling with, get in touch and we can explore it together.
Do I have to be sober to start therapy?
No. You don’t need to be sober first. You don’t need another person in your life you have to be good for, or another source of shame. What I ask for instead is honesty about what is actually happening. You can read more about my stance, and the safeguards around it, here.
If you’re physically dependent on alcohol or benzodiazepines, talk to your GP before cutting down — stopping suddenly can be dangerous. That’s about making sure you have medical support alongside our work, not a condition of starting it.
How is therapy for addiction different from AA or rehab?
12-step programmes like AA offer a space of fellowship and community to talk about your experiences and make a shared commitment to a life of sobriety. Rehab is an intense, (usually) residential process to get you off substances in a safe and controlled way.
Therapy can work in conjunction with both of those processes because it aims to do something else entirely. Addiction often separates. Therapy aims to connect.
In therapy, we’ll explore how you feel about your life, the past, present and future. I will listen to what you tell me and I will also invite you to go deeper. My job is to help you understand, process and feel. (The feeling part is, in my experience, the hardest.) And, in doing that, I hope you’ll see that in our work together, you affect me. You touch my life, because you matter. That feeling — seeing the impact of your actions, of your humanity on someone else, for good and ill — is what addiction has taken from you. Together, we will get it back.
